As I approach the end of the first year of my fifth self, I strive to be a more loving, kind, patient, and understanding person. I want to be aware of my strengths and my weaknesses that I’ve acquired through my last four selves. I want to work at the things I need to improve on and nurture the traits that are my strengths. I want to be the change I wish for the world instead of wallowing in my cynicism and negativity. I want to listen more than speak. I want to understand instead of alter. I want to love instead of judge. I want to be myself. And I want others to be free to be themselves. Looking back on my journey over the past 28 years, I see clearly my own past hypocrisy. I openly mocked others for their narrow-minded, judgmental, stubborn faith in their ideals and now see that we are oscillating back and forth between extremes and I was only on the other end when I should’ve been working at equilibrium. Rather than homogenize thought where it becomes a firm consensus as to what is and what isn’t, we should freely embrace (albeit critically) all possible views as being equally valid and important in expanding the possible ways of experiencing what is ultimately unknowable as we journey through the 100 or so years of conscious awareness we are afforded in the Universe. In my past, I also see my own lack of ownership over the consequences of choices and rather than growing and learning I had felt victimized by the world. I would blame others when the responsibility is with me and expect that the world owed me. I will not demand that the world change to fit me. I will let my choices reflect my desires and allows others that same courtesy. I apologize to those who have felt attacked by the things I have posted in the past or by things I have said. I still want to try and make people think of concepts outside of their comfort zone, but I will go about it in a much less aggressive and more respectful manner. The ideas of others should be expressed and entertained but ultimately only you, the individual, should have a say in what you personally believe, what choices you make for yourself. I won’t speak for anyone else, but my focus is to be a positive force. *thank you for listening to my rant. You don’t have to agree with me, but I’m really glad you listened.
Taking Stock: an awareness of the path I could take, and deciding which path I want to follow