Toothache – The Muppet Show


The Trash Bin – 4 Conversations

This is a short story I wrote to get my brain working in preparation for November’s National Novel Writing Month. It’s told completely through dialogue in 4 different conversations.


D and R at home


“So, I was thinking that we’d go to G’s on Saturday night.”

“Nope, can’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean, what do you mean? It’s L’s wedding social. I told you about this a long time ago. Remember L?”

“Right, L the lawyer. And your ex, p.s.”

“Yah, but that was a long time ago. I mean come on we’re going to a wedding social.”

“You know what, D? It’s not normal for people to go to their ex’s wedding social.”

“What? Why not?”

“Well, I mean you used to like . . .”

“Fuck her?”

“Uh yah.”


“So, you shouldn’t be going to her wedding social.”

“I don’t follow your logic.”

“It’s just, weird.”

“What? We’re adults who used to have a relationship. Obviously she’s moved on since she’s getting married.”

“Have you moved on?”

“R. It was over 4 years ago. I was over her long before I met you. Oh shit. I still have naked pictures of her on a USB.”

“You what?”

“Oh, god. I better go delete them.”

“What? No. Um, we should see them at least once before you delete them.”

“Why would you want to see naked pictures of L?”

“I’m just curious.”

“Well I’m sorry those picture were something special she and I had. I’ve never shown anyone and I’m not about to start now.”

“Come on.”


“Is it ‘cause it’s embarrassing? Was she fat? She was fat, wasn’t she?”

“No, she wasn’t fat.”

“Or maybe she had a really disproportionate torso. Did she have man feet? That’s probably it!”

“You want her to look ugly?”

“No, I just, I’m trying to imagine what she’d looked like.”

“Well there’s an awfully negative bent to your imagination.”

“I just have no idea what she looks like. Not one time have you shown me a picture of her, ever.”

“Exactly why you shouldn’t be worried about L and me.”

“I’m just curious. A girl you’d share naked pictures with… what would she look like?”

“You’re gonna have to keep guessing.”

“You said they’re on a USB? Could you help me out with a colour? Brand name would also help.”

“You really wanna see L naked.”

“Is it so much to ask?”

“Okay, assuming I even remember where I put that USB, I’ll have to locate the files in the finder. I guess, if you should happen to see the thumbnails of the pictures I’m about to put in the trash…”


D and R at L’s wedding social…


“So tell me more about L.”

“You know quite a lot about L already. Definitely too much for someone I’m involved with.”

“She obviously meant a lot to you. You held out a long time before letting me see the photos.”

“Well, they were a special thing between L and me. And I tried really hard to keep that. If it weren’t for you I would’ve.”

“Oh you.”

D introduces R


“D, showed me naked pictures of you.”


“I’m sorry. I just-”

“No, no, no. Okay, R. I was hoping it wasn’t going to come to this, but you’ve become uncomfortably clingy and shit like this just isn’t acceptable. You’re a nice enough girl but, fuck, you need to be less intense. I’m sorry, but I think you should leave.”


“You should go, R.”


R departs leaving D with L




“I thought I was getting so good at spotting the crazy ones. 2 months. I’d really hoped that she wasn’t a crazy bitch but for the last little bit it was beginning to get scary.”

“After 2 months?”

“Yah, red flags, right?”

“You’re taking this very well.”

“Oh my god, I’m just glad it only took 2 months of my life.”

“You’re a very different person than you were 4 years ago.”

“Well, I should hope so. That was 4 years ago.”

“So it’s a shame you don’t have those pictures of me anymore.”

“Well, I never said I emptied the trash bin.”