Curious: Eternity Strikes

This is the 2nd installment of my feature Curious:

So I was tipped off by a friend from my home town of Morden, Manitoba that there’s a new billboard that’s basically telling everyone that they’re going to burn in hell if they’re not a Christian… nice.  The sign reads: “WE DESERVE HELL”  Again… nice.

Urgh, I’ve had a tenuous relationship with the Bible Belt.  As soon as I could, I got the hell out of there. (Pun intended) 😉  I grew up with the constant fear of the world ending and not being “properly prepared” for Jesus’ return.  What if I had impure thoughts?  What if he came right after I finished masturbating…  he’s watching me do that you know. 😉 (And if he were to come back while I was in High School that’s probably what I’d be doing, since it was High School and all; plus the other end of Morden has a billboard on Abstinence…)

So yah, Morden and Winkler were a wonderful place to grow up…if you were a devout Christian.  But even then, Christians had a hard time fitting in with the Christians.  I remember the cliques were based not on a person’s social status as jock, nerd, drama kid or whatever other stereotypical cliques you could belong to.  No, in Winkler you were in a clique based on your church’s Youth Group!  The EMMCers would rarely hang out with the MBers, and the Mbers wouldn’t hang out with the Alliance Church kids and the Alliance Church kids would never hang out with the Catholic kids…  It was all very random and confusing to me.

You’re all CHRISTIAN!? It makes no sense.  Granted there was no real animosity between the groups.  There was no real bullying or anything, but there was a definite aversion to mingling within the various Youth Groups.

I’m getting off on a tangent though.


Yes, the terrible place that God (who’s supposed to be a God of Love, mind you) created where He sends people who don’t follow arbitrary rules that He apparently put down in this book full of fallacies and contradictions.  The only real rules that should be followed are don’t murder, don’t steal other people’s shit and be nice to your fellow human… BUT, that’s pretty much the same as EVERY SINGLE OTHER RELIGION EVER INVENTED … EVER!!!!

No, Christianity has a special blend of arbitrary in their rules for living a pure life.  My favourite one is that, apparently, God is a jealous God.  Why would he have such a human fault if he’s a deity?  He created the entire freakin’ Universe.  Why would he care whether humans believe in him if he’s capable of such phenomenal acts?  And if he did create everything for us, why bother creating anything past the atmosphere?  Why wouldn’t he just build some kind of self-contained, self-heating globe if it’s only meant for us?

Doesn’t seem very intelligent to create us, but then also create celestial objects that we’re only NOW discovering with the likes of the Hubble Telescope and (as my earlier post pointed out) that there is evidence of other universes that may have bruised ours while it was being created shortly after the Big Bang.

That brings me back to the sign.  “WE DESERVE HELL” was taken out by a Baptist Church group and there’s a link on the sign to a site called

The site looks like it was done for a High School Web Design class.  Complete with cliche fonts and a lightning bolt by the word “strikes”.

“What will happen to YOU the moment you die?”

The site goes on to say that the world was created by God 6000 years ago and that there’s “lots of evidence which supports this”.  And a link to the supposed evidence.  I followed the link and there’s a picture of Ben Stein…


That movie “Expelled” was the shittiest, most mindbogglingly stupid, pile of …. yah, it was not a very good movie.  Any movie that Glenn Beck promotes can’t be a good movie.

And of course, they immediately equate Darwin with Nazism as is the way with Ben Stein, Glenn Beck and the rest of FOX News, and Religious (with a capital R) people in general.

So I didn’t bother reading anymore and just closed the page.  Reading anything else would’ve just made me more angry than I already was.

There is no God.  At least not a personal God who gives a shit about whatever we’re doing on an individual, day-to-day basis.  Maybe there was some kind of higher power that started off the Universe with the Big Bang. I’m not arrogant enough to say that I know for a fact that it didn’t happen.  But we probably seem like gods to ants, and cats, and dogs.  They don’t understand what we’re doing.  And maybe there’s some scientific explanation for everything and we just haven’t had that paradigm shift yet to see it.

If I turn out to be wrong, and there is a personal God who cares what we’re doing and will judge us than he’s a fucking asshole.  Cause he has the power to end world hunger, end suffering, end war… but nah, he’d rather silently judge you for worshiping other gods than him…

Now I have no problem with people practicing their religion.  They’re free to do whatever they want.  I’m happy for them if Christianity fills a place in their life that needs filling.

But Religion is like a Penis.

It’s fine to have one.

It’s fine to be proud of it.

But don’t whip it out in public and try to shove it down people’s throats.


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